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As a child,I was used to getting A's on my tests.Dancing,singing..I was kind of an all rounder.But in 2nd grade,it all changed.We had to move.Switched cities,schools and then I started developing social anxiety .I didn't talk to anyone at school.The fear of being judged kept on rising. I was bullied, most of us have been,But at that point of time,it felt like my worst fears had come true.Name calling,discriminated..But I thought "well,I'll grow up and turn this all around." Years passed by,my social anxiety kept on rising and grades kept falling . I was in the last year of middle school,when the bullying started again.Sobbing was like a reflex to everything for me. Then came high school,I made new friends,everything seemed to be falling back in place .. But in the first year,things at home started falling apart.Screaming,fighting,it was a daily routine.And my social anxiety was at it's peek.And for me,even though I had a lot of friends,all I thought was that they don't really like me. . On the outside,I was lauging,cracking jokes,but as soon as I got home,it all faded away.Every little thing made me cry. Again things got better,or they seemed like to be. Then came our final year .I was finally a little at peace,I decided to face my social anxiety .But,Things at home got worse.Waking up,with not wanting to wake up.Sobbing through the nights,I felt like a bird stuck in a cage. Eventually,I started scratching myself.I knew something wasn't right.I decided to talk to a friend,told her to just stay in touch on a daily basis. What she did was completely ignore me. I didn't want to tell my parents,because I was scared.For them,it's just a tag for being crazy.By that time,self harm was my way of coping with everything.I tried talking to another friend and he,in response made jokes about my problems.I decided to give up,wrote down a suicude note and I just sat for an hour trying to fathom the courage,but couldn't do it. I told my mom,and she took me to a therapist. I was so scared that I couldn't say much.He diagnosed me with depression and prescribed some anti-depressants.After talking to my parents,all they said was what every one says to someone with depression."Try to be happy","Think about us,what are you doing to yourself!","You have everything,Why are you depressed then!" The medication seemed to be working.For a few days it felt fine.But a few days later,it got worse than before.My body was covered with scars .I hated my self,purely. I wanted to quit but didn't have the courage to. By that time,I had accepted that I was supossed to live this way.I was faking a smile when I had to,and cutting was my way of stopping the mental torture. A few weeks later,my mother accidently noticed my scars and in terror,rushed me back to the therapist.I finally spilled out everything,and was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and ADHD. But I'm not allowed to talk about it.AT ALL.Because apparently,it's something to be ashamed of. All of this made me feel ..sick.I wanted to feel normal again,for a change.I knew the only person who could do that was me.So I decided to change. I took up meditation,started reading more,cut out all the bad influences,because I had no choice but change my lifestyle or live like a dead man walking. Now,I've decided to overcome my social anxiety by finally facing it .I won't say I am fixed,I'll never be.You have to keep working on yourself,because no one else will do it for you.I'm finally starting to accept myself.Because honestly,it is never be that bad,that you give up on life.I have scars that probably won't heal.But in a way,I'm proud to have overcome all that,by myself..Well,my therapist too.