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It's almost impossible to get someone to understand "my mother is trying to ruin my life" and have them take it seriously. All my life all I get is a constant reminder that I'm never good enough, that no matter what I do I have to try harder to please people. Sure, I get it I can't please everyone but in the end I end up sacrificing what I want in order to get the approval of my "mother". My passion has been in art, it's my way of escaping the harsh reality, my love. Yet no matter how many times I come to her and show something I'm proud of it's always the same response "oh, that's nice" I push myself to get better, receiving As in art, selling my art for some in-game currency, getting praised for them yet that's not enough, I wanted my mother's approval. It was time to start applying for college and I hear her say "you're a woman and your husband isn't going to let you work, pick something else" as I was halfway through building my portfolio to get into art school. I finally found something that we can agree on, accounting. I tell myself I love maths, I love maths, I love maths hoping that if I say it enough times I would start to believe it, and I did. I was ahead in class, all the while juggling work and extracullicular activities and volunteer work. I'd like to believe I had a good future. I left for college and the divorce happened. Things escalated from her cheating on someone, throwing things in my room, stealing from me and when I gave her asylum to stay in my apartment, she slapped me during an argument. Every time we meet she would point out my flaws, how fat I was, and how she's beautiful. I tell myself again "it's ok, it's ok, it's ok. She's just upset". 3 years later she started asking me when my exams are and on the day would drop bombs. For example, on the bus going to my exam she left me a message saying she was going to commit suicide. I was in tears and couldn't pull myself together as well as I use to, I failed. This behaviours kept repeating itself I kept hearing "She's still your mother!" I started to feel like I was wrong I was evil I was the bitch. Depression kicked in but my need to please people and not be a burden cause me to power through it, "I can cry later" everyone has problems and mine isn't important. No one knew what I was going through and I wasn't planning on letting them know either. I started being anti-social, I felt like I was suffocating and I need to just be alone. I graduated with a mediocre grade, and I felt guilty for wasting my father's money on my education. I haven't got a job since I have a degree in something I don't love. My mother stole my papers and I can't renew my passport. I'm physically stuck for 6 months now while my papers are slowly being retrieved. My country isn't the fastest with issues like this and I'm sitting here depressed, leeching off my hard working father. I've lost my creativity, ambition and will power. I'm stuck physically and mentally - nothing is in my control anymore and I wish, I wish I would eventually believe the words "I'll be okay".