I am a 27-year old filmmaker, and I have struggled with depression since I was fifteen. I’ve attempted suicide twice, been to dozens of different therapists, and have tried almost every antidepressant on the market, but none of that made a difference. I don’t think I’ll ever fully recover, and I’ve come to terms with that. The only things that provide relief are my creative work and love. Mostly love, and I’ve become a love addict—at least to the beginning stages of falling in love.
“You know the feeling: when emotions are heightened, and the person makes you feel like you’re the only thing that matters, and you feel like you’ve become the best version of yourself.”
However, after a few months when the infatuation wears off, I tend to get depressed again and relationships crumble. It’s a constant cycle that I still don’t know how to break and it makes me feel awful. Another thing that lifts my depression is my creative work. When I am focused, inspired, and challenged by a project I am working on, I feel happiness. I think because of the lows, it makes those moments even sweeter.