I’m afraid of my own mind. The bad thoughts are too intense where I wish I had a switch to turn it off. One minute I can be having suicidal intrusive thoughts and the next I’ll be loving every second of my life. I need control. Control over my mood. It confuses me and everyone around me. I’ve been diagnosed with anxiety, borderline personality disorder and chronic depression. I feel as if I’m slowly moving throughout life with no idea what I’m doing or who I even am. It’s a constant viscous cycle with no ending point. Will my mind ever turn off? I doubt it.