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I have had mental health issues since I was a kid. It started when I was about 5 or 6, I developed symptoms of encopresis, which is a disease that comes up in children when they are under too much emotional pressure. Growing up, I never saw my parents happy, they didn't show any signs of love or affection for each other. Finally, when I was 7 years old, they split up, but wouldn't get through with their divorce until I was 13 years old. During these years, I had to bear too much emotional abuse from both sides, using me as their "informant". I don't want to get into it too much, because I decided a few years back, I don't want to be judging my parents for the rest of my life. I love them and they didn't know better. But still, what they did to me fucked me up pretty good. When I was about 14, I lost about 25kgs and started starving myself, for I was being bullied before for being overweight. In my perception, I was only worth something if I fitted into society's standards. The more weight I lost, the better. At 15, I started going out and drinking alcohol. And I started having sex with a lot of strangers who took advantage of me and my terrible self conception. I experienced a lot of abuse, emotionally and physically, the years following. But I didn't recognize it back then. Through all these years, I was in therapy and started taking AD at the age of 16. I am thankful my family was supporting me on the way to healing, although talking about feelings honestly was never very easy for any of us. Since I moved to Vienna, a lot has changed. I am growing up for real. But depression doesn't just go away. I know now that it might probably always be a part of me and I'm still struggling to find ways to deal with it. But what I've learned is that it's gonna be better. I'm gonna get through these emotional events. I care deeply for myself, my mental well being and for the people around me. I'm gonna get through this. 🖤