I've been depressed for a while now, 8 years to be exact. I'm not sad everyday, but some days are really bad, and on those days even the medication doesn't help. I've often contemplated suicide, but now I feel myself inching closer to it with every episode I have. A few weeks ago, I wrote a suicide letter for the first time. But the thought of my family and boyfriend helped me hold on to the little life that still remains within me. I guess what really bothers me is the roller coaster that any mental illness can be. You could be totally fine one day and in the depths of despair the next. When someone has a physical illness that causes them pain, we recognize it and sympathize, even aknowledge that death would be an escape to their suffering. And when they pass away, we sigh and say "he's in a better place now. At least he won't suffer anymore." But isn't mental illness just like that? My head may not hurt from a tumor in my brain, but my heart aches with the weight of my emotions. Then why am I told that "it's in my head." Would you tell someone that cancer is just in their head?