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I'm 19 years old and I feel like I've seen the darkest side of the world, and it doesn’t feel like there’s a way back. It all started when I was 15, and not very comfortable in my own skin. I feel like that's when I lost myself.

I lost all my friends because of my anorexia. I felt so alone that by the time I was 17, I tried to kill myself by swallowing a bunch of pills. The pathetic truth is that I knew those 30 pills wouldn't kill me. Deep down, I just wanted to see if they would kill whatever was inside of me.

The pathetic truth is that I knew those 30 pills wouldn't kill me. Deep down, I just wanted to see if they would kill whatever was inside of me.
It’s been three years since my suicide attempt, and I feel guilty about being emotionally unstable. I feel like I don’t have the right to feel this way, because I have a “sometimes happy” family, I have the privilege to go to college, and money is not really a problem.

I’ve learned to shut it all off, and do my best to hide how truly sensitive I am. No one gets to see that side of me, and I’m strangely proud of it. Maybe I’m healed, right? Maybe all I had to do was learn to shut my emotions off, and the psychiatrists did nothing. It’s comfortable being numb, and I don't pity myself. I was born broken, and I love who I am today because of that.