I always felt out of place my whole life. Since I can remember, I knew my father abused me sexually and physically. He locked me in a closet for days with no food or water. And when he finally was ready to let me out, he would beat me and make me perform oral sex. I was afraid of this man. I would hide for days, and to make me come out he would shoot my animals right in front of me. I always wished someone would rescue me from this monster. I hated that man.
I tried to kill myself too many times to count, and when the doctor came in he would tell me I have an angel at my side because my heart stopped several times.
I was 12 when he died. I was finally happy since he was gone, but then no one wanted me so I went to live on the street to survive. I started delivering rock cocaine. My life was horrible. I tried to kill myself too many times to count, and when the doctor came in he would tell me I have an angel at my side because my heart stopped several times. I would be mad—why wouldn't he just let me die? Today I suffer with anxiety so bad that I can't go anywhere because I'm always scared. With my PTSD, anxiety, and rage, life is still hard and I take a lot of pills to help me.